Do you find chess a little staid? Do you find boxing somewhat brutish? Then clearly what you need is chessboxing, in which contestants altenate 4-minute rounds of chess with 2-minute boxing rounds.
The contest is decided by: checkmate (chess round), exceeding the time limit (chess round), retirement of an opponent (chess or boxing round), KO (boxing round), or referee decision (boxing round). If the chess game ends in a stalement, the opponent with the higher score in boxing wins. If there is an equal score, the opponent with the black pieces wins.
“Pin my bishop, would you? Take that!” *kapow*
It actually sounds like it might be quite appealing as a spectacle, even if you’re not fond of either component alone. Would Kramnik have beaten Kasparov if fisticuffs had been involved? I reckon Garry could be quite handy in a punchup. And what about Deep Blue? — I guess it would have to be accompanied by a boxing robot.